.: Hoping Against Hope :.

The Subconscious mind, when controlling your dreams, can be a cruel mistress. We've gone through some rough patches in the past, the Subconscious and I, but we've had kind of a truce going on lately. I don't remember my dreams often, which suits me just fine - at least it means less nightmares, right? So it was a surprise when last night she decided to grace me with the imagery of something I have long since repressed hoping for. There's just no way it's going to happen.

It's a quiet, casual conversation between friends. You're slumped sideways on the couch, me sitting on the floor, face level with yours. As if from out of nowhere, there it is. The point where our gazes meet, and everything else seems to melt away. The conversation, the room, everything. It's you and your enchanting eyes. I've told myself numerous times I don't feel for you the way I used to anymore. You're like a brother to me. Yeah, right. All this forgotten, I lean closer to you, just like you're leaning closer to me. It's the softest, yet the most passionate, longing kiss I remember having experienced in a very long while. Time stopped then, in that blissful moment, until I woke up, confused out of my wits.

It seems my Subconscious is more optimistic than my Awake mind, still harboring some resemblance of hope. Or perhaps it was just another way of tormenting me. Or a clever plot to remind myself not to give up on that kind of thing in general, which these days I almost sort of have. See what it did to me? Pleasant though it undeniably was, I still consider the Subconscious a cruel mistress. Fuck you very much.